I didn't go to the game tonight, but my friend Jason (the hot shot TV executive) and his friend did.  I am happy to say that I missed this game, although it appears Jason and his friend provided some much needed comic relief:

"I had the terrible misfortune of being at Tuesday night's embarrassing 11-0 loss to the lowly Seattle Mariners.  The Mets were just plain bad.  They made a guy named Dickey look like Cy Young.  He got a big hit too, but I guess we should really be happy he didn't hit a grand slam.  Those AL pitchers are tough at the plate.  Anyway, outside of great tantrums by Manuel and Beltran, the game isn't worth talking about.  But there was one memorable moment.... for anyone sitting within a couple hundred feet of section 25 in the loge.

I went to the game with my co-worker Frank, who has a season ticket package.   He is a complete Mets geek. He has forgotten more about this team than most people ever learn.  He also has a perfect Queens accent.  And he is really loud.  I mean really really really loud.  It goes well with the Lenny Dykstra jersey he had on.  So it's the middle of the 6th inning and the game is over already.  Many fans have already left.  On the scoreboard, they play a Keith Hernandez highlight reel full of big hits and sensational glove work.  Then they come to a live shot of Mex waving in the booth.  The fans who are still there go nuts.  And then Frank stands up and starts yelling.  So EVERYONE can hear him.

"Keith, I love you! I'd kill for one player with half the heart you had."

A few people laugh.  Frank gets even louder.

"It's really sad when the only highlight all game is a circus play our BROADCASTER made against the Cardinals back in 1987.  That's what we have to cheer about."

More people laugh.  And there are a bunch of kids looking at Frank like he is completely off the reservation.

"Hey kids, you see how bad the Mets are now?  (kids all nod yes) Well that's how GOOD Keith was.  He could catch anything.  He caught a bullet in his teeth once.  Ask your dads.  It's true."

Now our section is roaring with laughter.  But Frank's not done yet.

"One time a dragon showed up at Shea.  Keith slayed it, then went 3 for 4."

I chime in as loud as I can... "and the one out he made- he was robbed."

Frank continues....  getting louder with every word.

"Keith beat the Nazis in World War 2.  Then he flew the Enola Gay.  Keith can do anything."

The entire section and now people in neighboring sections are in tears they are laughing so hard.  I don't think I've ever seen anything quite like it at a game.   The parents were laughing.  The kids were laughing.  Guys, girls, even the little old ladies sitting in front of us... they're all laughing.  Nothing I can write can even begin to do the story justice.

And the best part?  Frank doesn't drink.  Not a drop.  But everyone sitting down the right field line in the loge had to have thought he was loaded.  Hey, at least they had SOMETHING to smile about.

Oh... and there was that dumb stunt Frank pulled as he got off the F train at Roosevelt Island that made 2 girls stare at me like I'm a molester.  I was humiliated.  But I don't even want to get into that."